I have this dog.
Her name is Tess. She's named after one of the wiseguys from the book The Godfather. She's not what you would call wise, though.
In fact, she's never been the brightest crayon in the box. I bet she probably would be if we'd gotten her as a puppy. Instead some asshole got her first and beat her. Badly. As a result, she never really developed as she should have.
Yeah, a special needs dog. She rides the short bus to the park. What flavor are your windows, Tess?
Then one day, it was like a light bulb popped on in her head. Mind you, still a dim one. She helped us potty train our pup, Eddy, she barks at Emily and I when we get...frisky... She even supervised the move from Poncha Springs. And out of all three of the dogs, she was the happiest to see me come home from Afghanistan. That's saying something considering Angie would chew her own leg off just so she could be next to me at all times.
She's gotten better over the years. She still has a few oddities though. She'll fake an injury to get out of taking a bath, but she'll go nuts until you spray her with the vegetable sprayer in the sink.
Before I go any further, do you like duck? I like duck. I cooked one for Thanksgiving at the station one year, it was a big hit. It made everyone happy.
Tess likes duck too. Her duck. And it makes her happy.
She has a stuffed duck that none of the other dogs play with. It's hers and hers alone. And what does she do with it?
She sucks on its butt.
Oh yeah, you read that right. She gets as much of that duck butt in her mouth as she can and starts sucking on it. Then she'll hold it with her front paws and knead it.
Why don't any of the other dogs play with this toy? There is so much doggie slobber in this thing that it sounds like a rotten watermelon hitting the floor when she drops it at your feet. Would YOU play with it?
Did I forget to mention that she likes to play fetch too? Normally other toys are involved, but if she's wound up, she'll bring her duck to you to throw. It's safe to pick up by the head, but if you get the business end....it's like grabbing a crunchy sponge full of dog spit. And if you DON'T pick it up? She'll throw it at you. Again, that's rolling the dice of months of accumulated dog drool.
But hey, nothing makes her as happy as having a mouth full of duck ass. You'll never be as happy as she is when she's sucking away.
Be careful. Don't make eye contact. Otherwise, she's likely to come throw soggy duck butt your way!
Music for tonight:
Hero of the Day by Metallica
Close My Eyes Forever by Lita Ford
Deuce by Kiss
Back In The Saddle by Aerosmith
Walk of Life by Dire Straits
The Show Must Go On by Queen
Shoot To Thrill by AC/DC
good picture, great write up!!!
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